March 27th 2025: I have come to a few Philosophical conclusions, those being what I call; The rings of acceptance, The law of neutrality, and the one true fate, which goes as such: The rings of acceptance is my understanding of the human propensity to like things, I find that we like things based on how we relate to them (liking music because it reminds you of that one time in life, liking a bed room because you find it represents you and your interests, liking a book from how it makes you feel in relation to your experiences and emotions), however, humans are not binary like computers, so, we arange what we like and relate to, holding what we relate to closer and liking it more than what we less relate to, so i have called it rings of acceptance, though it is more or a gradient. The law of neutrality is my realization that we as people, have an emotional zero point. anger fades to sad ness of just fizzles out all together, sadness fades away and happiness dulls leaving us in a neutral zone, and I find that it is this zone which is our preferred state for longer periods of time, It is the place we see as "okay" and furthermore it is this place in which we make the best decisions, where we are unbridaled by any emotions except for maybe boredom. Finally, The one true fate is a bit of a stretch, but i will explain it well (I hope). I don't believe in any devine control (I.E. fate, destany, or evant time being a linear line), but i do think there is a small level of predestination to one's life, It spawns from upbringing and early decisions. I, looking back, have always been set to nihilism, growing up in a at best ignostic at worst anti-religious household with my parents always taking the form of contrarian in hopes of encouraging thoughtfulness has lead me to deconstructing everything down to me seeing no purpose beyond us squabbling around our space rock. My father was raised strongly religious and was never taught self control, only to pray for it, and now he seems eternally towing the poverty line regardless of things. I think that this pre-destination can be changed however, via massive internal and mindset change, but such a thing is very difficult.
I am a young man, I'm still a student but I Only continue school as its the only way I'll have a future, Anything I'm actually passionate about, I do my own research and reading on. I find that my particular mindset and level of knowledge separates me from most others. My friends consist of people widly considered to be outcasted, I always fit in with them (the gays, the emos, the mentally ill ones, the truama group, the nerds, and any other "strange" Group) but I've never really been one of them. Within the past two years, I enlightened myself into nihilism. I have lost most aspirations, now really only caring about three things; Philosophy, socializing, and whatever meaningless and mindless tech thing I fixate on to take my mind off things.